♥ Friday, 14 October 2011
@ 5:38 am

WOW....
it been damn fucking long i had not being updating here...
finally i'm back to blog...

year 2011 going to end soon.
alot of things happen during this year.

- no longer with calvin and now having a new bf..
- learn alot of things during this past one year.
- there is really ups and downs for me...
- finally sign up for my pole dancing course.

well everything will past soon. hope that 2012 will be a better year for me.
no matter what happen, i won't choose a path that will let me regret anymore.. NO MORE REGRET!!!!!

at first i thought that once i left calvin hong and met my current bf, chris's, i can find back my smily face, my happy go lucky, my social-able and noisy me. but i really realise that i don;t know how to smile and don't know what can really make me feel happy.. i really lost the feeling of being happy. simply just hate it.. why am i becoming like this?

no matter what, i won't give up finding back my old past me. faith jia you jia you jia you

♥ Thursday, 29 July 2010
@ 12:21 am

even though i look fine with it, but inside me, i feel really very uncomfortable when you chatting with that slut. even though is just a game but i still feel uncomfortable ok. when she is not inside the game, you look so dull and sianx with everything. but when she's online, you look so engernatic (don know if i spell correct, lol) and can even laugh non stop. pls la. don say to her like everything is my fault and being so sensitive and say until like i cant live without you la ok. sorry i can live without you and will be very happy than now. can you just fucking say yes to the break up. really sick and tired of you. i'm changing alright. once got her, you feel so lively. and hey fucking slut, do you think i'm really scare of losing him? than sorry i'm not. so don say until like i can understand why she's so sensitive after all i'm a girl. slut jiu shi slut la. not happy i say her. come find me than

♥ Tuesday, 27 July 2010
@ 9:01 pm

don't know is it because 我想太多or what.
you will always hook onto your game till the morning everyday without fail.
but today she's not inside the game at night, you did not play at all. when she was inside the game, you start playing again. you are making me anyhow think again. and stop saying that is a guy. i'm not dumbo.
when you saw winston sms me, you only say he wan to woo you ah? but you did not angry with me at all. when i heard that i start to ask myself, why you did not angry with me cos i'm talking with winston and you can say we two start until like couple but the truth is YOU DID NOT ANGRY WITH ME.
and i believe that one day you wil fall for her for sure without fail. oh maybe you already fall for her since you can't wait to chat with her and play with her. and since you feel so restless and nothing to do when she's not online. when i ask you why today so guai never play that long. you told me, cos the game got timing de. oh ya. is you and her de timing ba. she not online of cos you feel sianx and do not want to play at all. when you go to work, you sms me ask me to help you find your things. when i saw it, the first thing in my mind was. is it because i can manage to find those thing you cant find that why you don wan to go sepearate way cos i still got use to you in some ways. you say you did not took number than why i will saw that, you told: ask you to call us you don't want. since you will say like that i'm very sure you already got her number so does she. LAST BUT NOT LEAST SHE'S NOT A GUY. that's for sure.

AND HEY SLUT, SINCE YOU TOLD HIM YOU WANT TO MARRY TO HIM. THAN GO AHEAD. 我把他送给你. YOU CHEAPO SLUT MAN. SINCE YOU'RE STAYING IN SINGAPORE TOO. I GOT MY WAY TO GET YOU OUT. UNLESS YOU CHANGE EVERYTHING.

DO NOT BLAME ME WHEN I BECOME VERY NASTY AND CRAZY.
YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SHIT WITH ME BY TESTING MY PATIENCE AND KEEP LYING TO ME.

没有你, 我的日子还是会好过的。
省直还会比现在的好。

♥ Sunday, 25 July 2010
@ 4:04 pm

well really feel so sianx with everything. totally no mood for everything and anything.
it turns out to become my fault again. am i really in a wrong?? do you know i really feel guilty by treating you bad and trying hard to make you angry by talking and going out with my guys friend. but will you feel guilty at all? no you won't feel anything and just carry on with telling ppl that she's your wife or mistress etc in the games. you can fucking telling me that, that's a guy. hey common, i know i have a kiddo mindset but overall i still can different shape which is girls or guys and even lies from your eyes. ask me to speak to your friends and pls la own friend of cos will help you la. if now is me doing things, my friend confirm will side me. don't you have common senses?
you will get angry with me when i meeting winston today but do you know i feel super disappointed with the things and words you say/do too. you keep saying that, that's a game. so what? who will be happy to see your partner is talking so sweet to others? winston did not even call me, dear, darling, baby, wife, mistress all this only ask me wake up le ma, time to go out le. and you can just kick a fuss at me. why always you can do things in your own ways but i cant? you always think you are right in everything and anything and i'm in a wrong. i really think that we should not carry on this relationship anymore? it's kinda sick for me right now. i cant hang in to the last anymore. sorry.

i was just a transparent to you. you rather face your game for longs hours than facing me. you rather told your gamer friend that you're boring rather than accompany me. you are boring, i'm boring too k. to you, i'm just a adult who's behaving like a kiddo with a kiddo mindset. that why i'm always the wrong one and you are always the right one.


放手或许对彼此会比较快乐,
也不会那么辛苦。
因为我太累了,
已经曾不下去。

@ 6:37 am

fuck la. what really went wrong with me la.?
get so agitated nowadays easily especially when i woke up.
lol. and there is one funny thing and is i went to took online depression test. and the result is "you may be suffering from clinical depression. This test cannot substitute for a visit to a mental health professional. It is meant only to give you an idea where to start a dialogue with your healthcare provider." lol.. kinda stupid lor. how come i do not know when i msyelf are suffering from that? haha.
do not know why i feel so angry after i have woke up just after my nap.
i also don not why am i behaving like that. haha.

yesterday went to meet sammi to accompany her to get her things. as i find that it is kinda dangerous for her to go out alone when her due date is nearer. but when i reached there, she already finish buying her thing she wants to get la. haha. i know i'm slow la. haha. cant blame to much on me also. cos of the fucking cab driver la. don't know how to go marina square by rochor road. and once is nearing the marina square, jam lor. kns. i hate jam la. waste alot of my time.
before i going take cab i went to pres money and who know i fall down at the bus stop there towards the atm machine lor. so pai seh siax. so many ppl watching and there is ppl in front of me lor but don know they got saw it ma. lol.

after meeting up with sammi, we went to plaza sing for passing ppl thing that they brought from me previously at my blogshop. lol. and i was late man. omg. after that went to don know level what to get cross stitch stuff as sammi is getting. and i din know that actually PS got sell cross stitch stuff and everything lor omg. so sua ku la. haha. sammi brought one corss stitch blanket for her baby princess that going to born soon. cant wait how it look after the everything is done.

after buying we went outside and sit and talk cock. lol. sammi said that, she missed those life with beautiful clothes on and is ready for clubbing. well i missed it too. it was so much fun from that period of times. no stress and etc. everyday just get prepare and ready to go for out partying time till dawn and get ourselves high or drunk without fail man. haha. but times pass so fast. those days cant stop for us. happy times always go so fast without fail. we will grow up one day and will get married and have our own family. will get restrict form some thing by our partner. but well that's life and we still have to move on without fail. around 10 plus dave ask cal me and ask wan go PH ma. at first i feel like going but another min i don't feel like going le. so sammi husband come fetch her and soon bian send me back.

don't know why i don't want to go PH siax when it all about dancing and drinking and best is my favourite playground wor. haiz. reach home online awhile than falen asleep le till 6 plus in the morning than wake up again and nothing to do go online dictionary to get some new words to learn than come and blog le. haha. sometime blogging can really kill my times more faster than doing nothing at all. lol.


don't say goodbye,
我还不想离开,

♥ Friday, 23 July 2010
@ 11:48 pm

today really feel so tired. did not really sleep in the afternoon. my mind was all about. DEAR, WIFE and DARLING. worse still i found out one super shocking and heart breaking news in the afternoon which make me cant really slp very well. keep waking up. feeling so tired of everything, there is so much thing in my mind when i saw the news.

~why cant my life like the past. with all the joys, friends and happiness around me?
~why does things started to change for the past two year plus.
~why i cant just dump everything behind and leave to the place i used to be, to the place where i can feel that i'm actually exist in this world but not transparent?
~why you are the one that can really hurt me so much, the hurts was so painful that i never had this feeling before.

all the thing keep spining around my head till i don't feel like waking up and just want to lie on the bed for the whole day whole night without facing anyone. but too bad. someone wake me up and i know i got to face it. but ended up i went to bath than went downstair. i cant imaging that i can really sit at the void deck alone with my mp4 playing. i also realise that i can really go and think when i'm alone all by myself with those cool wind flashing on me. suddenly missed those days when i'm sad or unhappy, my friend will drive me to east coast to listen to the sea but now hai, i was alone at the void deck without anyone to called to speak with. i missed the night sea sound and night.

after sitting for a few hours alone, i keep recalling what someone has told me before i left the house. at first i feel so angry and sad by those words. but after cooling down, i know what he/she say was really true.

~i everything also want.
~i keep complaining, demanding and finding fault on you.
~i don't want to work all this.
~i keep wanting to go chiong.
~i'm just a kiddo that never will grow up with a kiddo mindset.
~i'm too controlling.

maybe i should have realise that this ain't going to works it out before we have made the decision on 2008. i'm who i am and you are who you are. we just or maybe only me which i cant accept all the things you've done and so on.

~i'm just a childish kiddo with a childish thinking which don suit any mature thinking person.
~i'm just a person who keep thinking of playing playing and playing.
~i'm just a failure who keep fail her interview
~i'm just a useless person that cant help you in anything.
~i'm just a transparent person at your house.
~i'm just a fucking attitude person
~i'm just a person who demanding on you too much.

i'm letting everything go now. i just want back my own life with all my truly smile on my face but not a fake smile every now and than. i'm feeling tired, letting go will help you in getting out from those nonsense i've give all the time. it has been 2 yr 4 month 21 days le and is enough le. it's times to let it go than keep dragging and hold on to all the unhappiness between both of us. it wil only made the things more worse in the future. you can do anything you want or like without anyone showing any attitude on you. i'm the one whose is on fault everytime. really very sorry for wasting your times for the pass 1 years.


相爱没 那么容易
幸福每那么简单

♥ Monday, 19 July 2010
@ 11:24 pm

wow, so long din blog le. haha..
don't know why suddenly feel like blogging after so long.
hmm but there is nothing i write about siax.
should change my blogskin? it seem so emo and black siax,
alright, i'm finally 21 which is officially legal in singapore.
lol.

have been working for the past 2 month and don feel happy with the working environment at all.
recently din turn up for work cos don feel like working. so i told winston (the bartender) that don put my schedule for the next few weeks. haha..

i want to go oversea la.
really need some place for me to relax.
feeling so stress up with everything,
there is so much place i wan to go.
BATAM SPA VILLA, HONGKONG, TAIWAN, KOREA, JAPAN, UNIVERSAL STUDIO, CASINO.

have been attitude with baby for the past few weeks too.
feel that we no longer having each other in our heart anymore.
all you care was playing your games and spending on your games.
all i care was how to make more money everyday.
our mindset and wants no longer the same at all.
feeling kinda tired and lost in hope after i found out something.
will keep asking myself:
~is the love still there or we are just used to each other existing?~
~does he remember when is the date we being together?~
well for me, i don realy rmb the date anymore.
maybe i should reAlly give up now than it's too late.

feeling so boring right now.
have been blog shopping alot now and than. must realy stop it le.
haha..
spending to much on online shopping le.
must start earning more money than can start shoping again.
lol

alright time to do my works now.
good night.

♥ Tuesday, 6 April 2010
@ 1:18 pm

to him:
i'm not understanding,
i do not stand in his position and think for him.
i'm not hard working in my works.
i'm lazy,
like to spend money.
and slack around.
empty promise towards my jobs.
not caring enough,
do not know how to maintain a proper houseworks,
everything i'm in the wrong
cant even share his burden for him


to me:
empty promise,
age gap,
addict,


saw his fb few days ago, tired of everything is wad he written at his nick. :)
maybe let go will be better for both of us.
i might be more happier without this relationship carry on any longer. :)
he deserve the better woman in his life.

♥ Saturday, 3 April 2010
@ 1:01 pm

2 years 1 mth anniversary


but it's the same, nothing went smooth but anger and quarrel every month of this day..
sick and tired of everything..
everything must let go so that i can move on with my life and be more happier. :)


was dead drunk and don't even know how i went back home. haha

♥ Monday, 22 March 2010
@ 2:03 pm



which cartoon more nice?
feel like putting behind my back..
but don know which one to choose. :(


went to watch green zone yesterday with bibi & co at iluma.
was a fucking boring show lor..



♥ Wednesday, 3 February 2010
@ 4:19 pm

today is our 11th monthsary wor.
gg one more month will be our 2yrs liao.
never thought that i will got myself stable for 2 years.. haha

happy 11monthsary. :)

♥ Sunday, 24 January 2010
@ 11:05 pm


Was browsing my friends list in fb just now. realise that almost half of my ex already MARRIED.. OMG.. Some even have their planning too.. when viewing their photo, i realise i've given up on good guys in the past.. but well, no chance for me anymore. wahahahaha.. was wondering, is this relationship of mine now is just a retribution for what i've done to those guys in the past???? it felt so hurt. now i know how is it feel like when i used to played them... but well.. still got 2 mth and 3 days to get everything done with all the hurts and tears.. :) hope that the result will be the good one. otherwise sorry have to say GOOD BYE. :) 长痛不如短痛。after 27 march 10, you haven even change, i won't bring myself to stay anymore. :)

@ 10:52 pm













@ 10:45 pm




♥ Saturday, 23 January 2010
@ 10:39 pm



保护色
想对你说的 让他先说了?
从此只能 猜测?
你流泪是因为 快乐想要给你的 他先给你了?
从此只能 负荷?
寂寞和爱 本来能分割祝福你是我的保护色?
专心扮演朋友的角色?
在你们拥抱的那一刻?
我心一分为二欺骗你是我的保护色?
甘心做个爱情的弱者?
真爱不死就能逃得远远的?
等待是我职责路越走越曲折 不能回头了?
能伤害我的 都是我爱的?
还保护什麽 还保护什麽祝福你是我的保护色?
专心扮演朋友的角色?
在你们拥抱的那一刻?
我心一分为二欺骗你是我的保护色?
甘心做个爱情的弱者?
真爱不死就能逃得远远的?
等待是我职责爱你是点的


i love this song alot. so meaningful to me. :) but i love the piano version the most. super nice.

♥ Friday, 22 January 2010
@ 10:28 pm



have been watching 终极一班 & 终极一家。
alright, i know i'm kinda super duper slow..
haha.



♥ Wednesday, 20 January 2010
@ 10:23 pm


Promise.... will you break it again????




♥ Friday, 15 January 2010
@ 7:54 pm

Am i really a irrtating and dislikeable person??
everyone seem to getting a distance from me.
everyone seem to dislike me.
i'm no longer that popular le.
my phone no longer 24 hr keep ringing.
i no longer be seem outside for 24hr.
i no longer go club on every wed, thurs, fri and sat.
nobody ask me out everyday le.


i'm tired tired tired tired.


at first i thought if i keep giving you chance and treat you nice, you will really get touched and will really change for the sake of me. but now i'm wrong.. super wrong.
you will never change for the sake of anyone even ME.
after so long of endure, i realise we don't suit each other at all.
ya you are good to me but you don't have the heart to change what i don't like.
i won't want a guy who ******** and ******** to be my husband at all.
our age gap is futher. we don't communicate well too.
we no longer like we are friend that time.
we can talk everything bout it.
everything change when we are together.
i miss those happy time i used to have.


hoping that i can be strong but i no longer can.
hoping i can bring back those smile i used to have but i no longer can.
hoping that i can change myself to the better but i no longer can.
hoping that i can don't be so emo but i no longer can.

♥ Wednesday, 13 January 2010
@ 2:10 am

是否我该放弃或逃避这一且的事实??
我知道我不能去改变他做的事。。
可是我讨厌所有的事。。
爱一个人真的好累。

♥ Sunday, 3 January 2010
@ 2:09 am

HAPPY 1 YEAR 10MONTHSARY

♥ Friday, 1 January 2010
@ 2:08 am

welcome 2010 & goodbye 2009
it will be the better year for me this time round.
*Hope so*

♥ Saturday, 19 December 2009
@ 11:21 pm

finally got the time to upload some of the photo...
today never go work again. haha
hang over today siax.
last night was fun during works. hahaha
drink, drank drunk again.....


was surprise to saw ben at monalisa. hahaha.
this world really super small siax.
my friends and his is teh SAME.










♥ Thursday, 10 December 2009
@ 3:14 am




Went to junction 8 have dinner with baby and watch STORM WARRIORS.
i find it stupid siax. but i like ekin cheng EYES IN THIS MOVIE. haha.
OMG nicholas tse is so handsome. wahahahahahaha.
but overall not a bad movie. in the end Aaron kwok die. sad.

♥ Thursday, 3 December 2009
@ 3:22 am

HAPPY 1 YEAR 9 MONTHSARY

♥ Tuesday, 1 December 2009
@ 7:57 am

Over due photo on dad's birthday. :)














@ 7:53 am

Before gg to work. lol









♥ Tuesday, 24 November 2009
@ 2:48 pm




OMG...... I SIMPLY JUST LOVE THE SHOES IN THIS VIDEOS....WHO WANT TO BUY FOR ME. WAHAHAHAHA. ESP THE BLACK HEELS IN 3.02 MIN DE.... IS SUPER NICE.....

♥ Monday, 23 November 2009
@ 7:42 pm

Today morning i receive a shocking news from baby.
Ah hee passed away.
at first we thought they are joking with baby, baby was talking with him in the afternoon how can he just pass away like that.
even though baby never tell me anything and just act as normal,
i can see that he's feeling super sad and his eyes is watery.
i feel like telling him, just cry out, it will make you feel better but the words just stuck in my throat.
wanted to an wei him but i don't know what to say when seeing him like that.
i felt so useless after being with him. :'(
ah hee was his BBF yet baby has already lost it.


maybe i never express my emotion to him but inside i feel like crying too.
but baby think that i'm cold blood.
do you think that i cant feel anything?
ah hee always my friends lehs. :'(
going off to work soon.
don't know i can control my emotion when at work ma. :'(
is not i don't want to go his funeral, is i simply hate the feeling of sending my friend off. i hate the feeling.

♥ Monday, 9 November 2009
@ 7:05 am

IS FUCKING SUAY ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
SHOULD NOT DRINK SO MUCH OF BEER. KNN PB.
LOST MY PHONE ON SATURDAY SIAX.


THOSE WHO TAKE MY PHONE, I PRAY THAT YOU WILL DIE IN A MISERABLE WAY OR GET INTO ACCIDENT WHEN GOING OUT. KNN PCB.
MAKE ME LOSE SO MANY NUMBERS. NB


really feeling quite low this weeks siax.
don't know too.
just wanted to sleep all the way and never wake up.
i'm so freaking tired. :(

♥ Wednesday, 4 November 2009
@ 5:55 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY, LOVE YOU. MUACKX.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET

♥ Tuesday, 3 November 2009
@ 1:29 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WEI LUN

HAPPY 1 YEAR 8MTH ANNI

♥ Monday, 2 November 2009
@ 8:49 am

you ask me: "Am i disappointed in you?"
when i heard this sentence, i don't know what to say to you.
i'm totally disappointed in you. but so what when you know it??
will it change anything?
it will not change anything, it does not matter am i disappointed.
i'm disappointed in myself too.
i cant help you in your things and even households chores.
now than i know actually i'm the one who's pushing you to this state.
so i cant blame you for making the same mistake again and again.


two more days to baby birthday.
but think also got no mood to celebrate le ba.
i ahven got his present too.
don't even know what to get for him.
if by the time my anger is down,
maybe treat him eat good stuff ba.
haha

♥ Friday, 30 October 2009
@ 4:20 pm

jackson came down last night again and is drunk de lor. wahahahahaha.
but this time round he come alone. haha.
but now i'm super angry with him le lor.
think i won contact him anymore le. or maybe is he don contact me anymore le.
today is his off day. haha


why does guy only know how to say SORRY when they have done wrong things.??
don't they have other words to say instead of SORRY.
i hate sorry alot now.
what the point of saying sorry when you have made a mistake???
can it change anything by saying sorry???
when he told me sorry i feel that he don make any diff with baby.

♥ Sunday, 25 October 2009
@ 10:17 am

next month i gonna broke real soon than this month again. :(
baby, wei lun and janet bithday still got one more weeks to go.
best things is their birthday is the same. haha.
have a surprise for baby. :)
cant wait to see his shocking face. haha.


yesterday never went to work.
cos i'm sick again. :(


friday jackson group, dex group, jun min group, janet group group came to find me. :)
but i'm very very happy when i saw jackson down. haha
and also my first time to see him get DRUNK. wahahaha
finally got things to say bout him le. otherwise alway he say i dunk. haha.


new stock and new spree is up now at my blogshop.
so ladies do support yeah!.
www.ur-lovely-wardrobe.blogspot.com

♥ Wednesday, 14 October 2009
@ 7:08 am

happy birthday my dearest daddy. love you. :)

♥ Saturday, 10 October 2009
@ 10:00 am

Here is Sammi Baby prince photo.
He's so cute and so small in size.


finally can ask sammi go club after her confinement.
super super super long never club with her le la. lol
gonna meet her out for our clubbing session le.



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